CONSIGNMENT; inbox

[hypertoxic]

serket.vriska@cdc.org
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[sequestrated]

[... :/]

He's a manipulative bastard. That was fairly clear. He was playing games with me.

You asked me if I was capable of greatness once. Do you remember?

1/2

[hypertoxic]

[hypertoxic]

[ she and sephiroth really aren't so different. ]

Yes. I remem8er.

[sequestrated]

[Simon would differ on that. But then.]

What did _you_ mean by that? We know what it means to Sephiroth.

[hypertoxic]

01
........

When I helped someone 8e gr8, it meant helping him get strong! We were the 8est team. I gave him advice on how to proceed, and nudged him in the right directions!

02
And he 8ecame a very powerful player. I was proud of him!

03
I guess what it means to me is someone living up to their full potential! And 8ecoming the 8est.

04
I think if you'd asked me a long time ago, I would have added something dum8 and trite to that st8ment. "8ecoming the 8est, just like me!" or something.

05
What a stupid kid I was. I didn't know anything.

06
Anyway, that is what I meant.

[sequestrated]

So what it comes down to is what your full potential is. And isn't that a question of what you value? Of what you _want_ to be?

Do you like poems, Vriska? I've never asked.

[But what does she value? He knows his own path's a bit—call it odd. It's about survival. And her starting point was so different.]

[hypertoxic]

01
Sometimes I'm not sure what I want, Simon.

02
Pff. Hey loser, stop reading shit for girls.

03
What is it you want to show me?

[sequestrated]

FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
ATTACHMENT: [ulysses.epxs]

That has to be one of the least provocative things you've ever said. I'm disappointed.

Here's your poem, or part of it. It's about men who spent years lost at sea.

FROM: wilson.simon@cdc.org
You know at this point what we want is not really relevant. It's hard, I know. I do.


--- [ulysses.epxs]

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

[hypertoxic]

Is that your lameass way of telling me not to give up?

[sequestrated]

Vriska, it's not stupid just because it's over your head.

[hypertoxic]

Rude, Simon. And I didn't say it was stupid. I said it was lame.

[sequestrated]

That's a horrible word, though. And they mean essentially the same.

[Oh God why.]

[hypertoxic]

01
Pedant.

02
Look. I get it.

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8ut I can't shake this feeling l8ly that he might 8e right!

04
To 8e honest, I'm glad I never met someone like him when I was younger. I would have completely idolized him and wanted to be just like him! In fact, I would have jumped at the chance to have him as my teacher.

05
It's actually freaking me out a little that I'm suddenly am8ivalent a8out it.

06
8ut it's also freaking me out that I'm considering it at all!

07
Ugh.

08
You'd think after a 8ajillion sweeps spent in the void I'd have figured myself out 8y now. Turns you dying doesn't grant you godlike wisdom or powerful insight or anything. Just makes you dead.

[sequestrated]

[It's a dark message, and hard to read. And yet—Simon, who's been in such close quarters with Sephiroth, is not above a bit of envy himself. Sephiroth might be a snake-eyed freak, but he's powerful, and he doesn't seem afraid of anything. But for Vriska Simon wants much more, and he's not in a position to give it to her.]

01
You had some interesting circumstances when you were younger, from what I've understood. And there are worse things you can do, especially here, than to recognise the worst you could be.

02
Do you think Sephiroth will survive? Don't tell him I asked you this, for God's sake.

[hypertoxic]

01
Interesting? Lol. That's one way of putting it.

Yes. At least until he gets tired of listening to the instructors. And then we might all 8e fucked.

02
And why the fuck would I tell him that???? I don't actually want to die for a third time, holy shit!

[sequestrated]

See? Self-preservation. You're doing well.

Sephiroth's not stronger than the instructors, though. I can tell you that. Though I suppose you're right the rest of us might have some trouble.

[hypertoxic]

Gee, thanks!

I agree, 8ut that is not what I meant. He will decide to re8el at some point. It's inevita8le. And when he does, he will take a lot of us down with him just 8y virtue of how 8ig he will go out.

[sequestrated]

[This is making him very uneasy indeed.]

And you'd rather be on his side at that point than not?

[hypertoxic]

........

That is also not what I meant, 8ut it's gr8 to know what you think of my morals.

[sequestrated]

Who's talking about morals? I'm talking about surviving, nothing more. It's politics.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you.

[Such a word for it, politics. He really is trying to think outside the box, and sometimes the effects aren't good.]

[hypertoxic]

[ A solid minute goes by before she replies. ]

01
I've done a lot of shit in the name of surviving, Simon. Killed a lot of people and did some 8rutal things!

02
I am going to survive.

03
8ut I am starting to think may8e it shouldn't 8e at the expense of people I actually care a8out.

04
8eing on Sephiroth's side might mean I survive a little longer, sure! If it came to that. 8ut 8eing on his side also means sacrificing everything I've 8een working for all over again.

05
And I have worked way too fucking hard to re8uild some sem8lance of a life to just throw it all away for the sake of some psychotic chucklefuck who would pro8a8ly end up killing me anyway.

06
I know his type. He can pretend to gr8ness and glory all he wants! 8ut that is not what he'll get, and I am not going to 8e there when he figures that out.


[ Well. If he was trying to talk her off Team Sephiroth, he may actually have succeeded.

If he wasn't, then hey, added bonus! ]

[sequestrated]

[Simon's delay is a bit longer. Not because he's writing a lot, because he's not. And not because he's thinking about this, though he is; he bites his lip at her first message, imagining what's been and picturing what he knows will be. But—well.]

01
You might want to get into the bathroom for this one. Fair warning, and so on.

02
But sometimes I'm absurdly proud of you.

1/3

[hypertoxic]

[ what ]

[hypertoxic]

[ omg ]

[hypertoxic]

[ She doesn't know how to react. How to feel. What does that mean? Why is he proud of her? Did something she said imply she's changed since she got here?

... has she?

If he's proud of her, does that mean ... she's doing something right?

The emotional whiplash that comes from reading that statement is too much for her to handle. She shoves it down, away, where it can't force her to examine herself too closely, and takes the easy way out. ]

That was not enough warning for something so gross! ::::/