Vʀɪsᴋᴀ Sᴇʀᴋᴇᴛ ♏ ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅsGʀɪᴘ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
CONSIGNMENT; inbox
serket.vriska@cdc.org
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serket.vriska@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
serket.vriska@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
no subject
FROM: brooksjr.barnaby@cdc.org
Why do you feel as though you're being left behind? If you don't mind me asking.
no subject
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
This is going to sound dum8.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
But Luke and I made this deal. We'd work on 8ecoming 8etter people together, and earning the trust of those we cared a8out.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ut then he ditched me. And now that he's 8ack........ he's already this gr8, no8le hero. He got there all on his own.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
We were supposed to make it together!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I know it's stupid to 8e kind of pissed at him, 8ut I can't help it.
no subject
I hope that you don't truly believe you haven't become a better person since then.
1/2
no subject
That's kind of you to think.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I'm not so sure.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
He was going to sacrifice his life to save his world or something. Would I do the same thing in his position? I don't know. Pro8a8ly not.
no subject
A willingness to do whatever is necessary is not defined solely by the sacrifice that one is willing to make.
FROM: brooksjr.barnaby@cdc.org
It doesn't have to be a life. It can be many other things. I don't think you're as unwilling as you think you are to make a difference.
no subject
I'm not a hero, 8arna8y! And I'm never going to 8e.
[ All I ever wanted. Like Kotetsu. ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I accepted that a long time ago.
no subject
You don't have to be a hero to be a good person.
FROM: brooksjr.barnaby@cdc.org
In my world, being a hero is only a title. Embodying the ideals of such a figure is a completely different issue.
no subject
And you don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.
She'd said that once, in a fit of what she later saw as overdramatic self-aggrandizing bullshit. But now here's Barnaby, logical, no-nonsense Barnaby, saying it to her in all seriousness and clearly meaning it.
But there's something slightly different about his idea, isn't there? She'd thought she could be a hero without being good. And look how that'd worked out for her! But being good withit being a hero...
Was a hero what she really needed to be? ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I'm not a good person either, 8arna8y.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I don't know. Look, it's not a 8ig deal.
no subject
By what definition aren't you a good person? I'd be interested to know.
no subject
Did you miss the part where I said it wasn't a 8ig deal? Just let it go!
no subject
Very well. If that's what you truly desire.
no subject
I don't feel like getting into an argument a8out what a shitty person I may or may not 8e, ok?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It's flattering that you think so highly of me, 8ut I don't deserve it.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Man. Sometimes I wish Sollux was still here. He'd sure set you str8 a8out how worthless and evil I am! Lol.
no subject
Other people are welcome to their own perceptions, just as I am welcome to mine.
no subject
Aaaaaaaargh! This is so frustr8ing, 8ut in such a weird way!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Why do I feel like I need to prove you wrong? ::::/
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I think may8e a long time ago I would have accepted praise and 8een all, fuck yeah, I'm the 8est!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ut it's hard to have self-esteem when you know you've 8een a terri8le person pretty much your entire life.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
You're a good friend, 8arna8y. You just wake up from stasis and immedi8ely put up with my shit! Sorry.
no subject
I'm not sure that being asleep for a week suddenly excuses me from anything.
FROM: brooksjr.barnaby@cdc.org
In any case, I'll leave it at that. I'm not here to lecture you on how you should be feeling. I'd only intended to offer an alternative perspective.
no subject
Haha. Yeah, it is pretty lame, isn't it?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I know. And I'm serious when I say I appreci8 it. It's just a huge pain in the ass to go into. May8e some other time I'll tell you all a8out my sordid past.
no subject
If you're willing to tell me, then I'm willing to listen any time.
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Hey, you pretty much just woke up, right? Have you taken a tour of this place yet? It's just as weird as our last stop.
[ Yeah, she's willing. Just not right now. ]
no subject
No, I checked my blackglass as soon as I awoke and have managed little else. Weird in what way?