Vʀɪsᴋᴀ Sᴇʀᴋᴇᴛ ♏ ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅsGʀɪᴘ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
CONSIGNMENT; inbox
serket.vriska@cdc.org
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serket.vriska@cdc.org
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serket.vriska@cdc.org
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no subject
Your universe has issues. So many issues.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
If I like them, then let's go for non-lethal wheels. If neither of us likes them, crush away.
no subject
You don't know the half of it! ::::)
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Hahahahahahahaha. Just when I think we can't up the pedant ante any further, you prove me wrong!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Fine. I will save the wheels made out of 8alloons and fluffy hop8easts for people we like, and the ones with spikes and dripping acid for the people we don't.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8eeeeeeeetter?
no subject
It's a really good thing I've been working so hard on my English, with how your typing trips up the translator.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
But yes. Better.
no subject
What! Fuck you, no one else has had a pro8lem!
[ vriska just because no one's said
and they have said
vriska-- ]
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I don't know why i 8other with English anyway. Just one more way I'm assimil8ing human culture!
no subject
Can you even throw 8s into Alternian the way you do English?
no subject
The Alternian alpha8et is completely different from the human alpha8et! 8ut that doesn't mean I can't do my spider thing. ::::)
[ that's not how any of this works and also it isn't actually that different at all ]
no subject
You should just draw spiders. Then there's more art to it on your part and the translator doesn't throw a fit for everyone else.
no subject
That sounds really dum8, Garrus. Simon made a cool spider emote for me once, though. /\(::vv::)/\
no subject
It sounds like a way I don't have to break out my limited English and try sounding out words every time we message each other. You know how many human letters need lips? Know who doesn't have lips?
no subject
Too 8ad, you 8ig 8a8y! We all gotta deal with the human supremacy here.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I guess I could drop the quirk to accommodate your dumb alien face if you reeeeeeeeally needed me to.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
8ut personally, I think a little challenge 8uilds character! ::::) So quit 8itching.
no subject
You are an asshole.
[But he's more amused than anything else.]
no subject
Do you go around calling every little girl you talk to an asshole? That's disgusting and reprehensi8le 8ehavior, Garrus.
no subject
I call assholes assholes.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And little girl my ass. Nobody who has killed is little.
no subject
::::P
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Hey, I was pretty little when I had to land my first kill! At least 8y human standards, if I had to guess. I was 3!
no subject
By most standards I've heard of. Not too surprising for krogan or vorcha, but most others, yeah. That usual for trolls?
no subject
It depends on the troll, and which lusus 8ecomes their guardian. I would say it's pretty uncommon, 8ut definitely not unheard of.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I just kind of won the lusus lottery. ::::/
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
To clarify a little, a 3 sweep old troll would 8e equivalent to a 6 year old human.
no subject
Won, or lost? Bumping it up to six keeps it the same for krogan or vorcha, and we're still probably not including other species.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Except maybe Kree.
no subject
Lost might 8e a 8etter word. I h8ed my lusus.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I only knew one other troll who got kind of a 8ad 8r8k with her lusus, 8ut that was what she got for 8eing 8orn into Alternian royalty. And she had help taking care of hers!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I dealt with mine all alone. I was the only one strong enough to handle her!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Haha. Yeah, Noh-Varr told me a8out how his species raises warriors from a young age.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
It's weird to me that it's our cultures that are strange, you know? Humans have all these moral hang ups a8out children that I'll never really get.
no subject
I'm sorry you didn't like your guardian.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Our cultures aren't strange. Human culture is strange. ;}
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
But I think it has a lot to do with evolution, if I was gonna make a guess. I mean, look at them. They don't have talons, or sharp teeth, or horns. Their young require a lot more care.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Can't count how many times humans I know have asked others if they were dropped on the head as an infant. Not really a worry for turian young.
no subject
It's ok. That was all a long time ago, anyway.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Haha! Right? Well said. ::::)
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I hadn't thought a8out it that way, 8ut that's a good point. Even the weakest trolls are hatched with natural defenses. A lot of low8loods end up with cool telekinetic powers, for instance.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Humans 8n't 8orn with shit! It's sort of depressing. Small humans can't even fend for themselves. How have they not all died out as a species?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Especially if they're all dropping each other on their soft, squishy heads. ::::/ Does that really happen a lot?
no subject
They can't even eat right away. Or not eat solid things, from what I gather, take years to learn how to walk. I don't know how they made it.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe? Haven't really been around humans with infants. Spend most of my time with soldiers, after all.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Though you gotta be impressed by the fact that they did make it.
no subject
It's all true! I saw it. I mean, I didn't care that much a8out it, 8ut when I was 8ored once I 8rowsed the humans' timelines and it was exactly what you said.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Their 8onds with their guardians aren't even sym8iotic! The guardians get nothing out of the exchange. 8affling.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
If I'm impressed 8y anything, it's the massive amounts of sheer dum8 luck they must possess as a species.
no subject
That's the thing. They're not dumb. It's not dumb luck. They're creative. One of the more creative species out there. And maybe that's how they made it work.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
There's jokes about the power of imagination, but they've actually got something there. Every species that's survived is creative, has ingenuity. Humans seem to take it to a different level.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
But luck plays into it too.