Vʀɪsᴋᴀ Sᴇʀᴋᴇᴛ ♏ ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅsGʀɪᴘ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
hypertoxic) wrote2016-01-03 12:00 am
CONSIGNMENT; inbox
serket.vriska@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
serket.vriska@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
serket.vriska@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
no subject
and she threw you at a mOUNTAIN?
no subject
She is not to 8e trifled with. Ever!
no subject
fuck
no subject
oh my god
no subject
well are you
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
are you ok?
no subject
Wow.
02
I'm fine! Stop worrying. It's ok.
03
This happened a while ago! A couple of months at least. Not long after we got to Ajna.
04
And 8esides, I am made of pretty tough stuff. W8, you know I'm not human, right?
no subject
uh
i do now
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
but for the record people who get both arms broken and thrown into mountains arent usually fine
thats totally not a word that gets used
no subject
Oh. Whoooooooops. ::::P
02
I am an alien! And my species is much more resilient than humans.
03
Trust me. I've 8een through way worse than some 8roken 8ones!
04
8ut that is why I keep saying not to mess with Gliese. I have fought some powerful enemies, and she 8lows them all away!
no subject
having way worse than broken bones doesnt make it better that just means things are extra fucking shitty
[There's a pause here, where Ellie scrubs her hands over her face. Man she just does not get these aliens and superheroes. Just because they can get beaten to a pulp and survive doesn't mean it hurts any less. Does it?]
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
but ill put it on my list
dont piss gliese off or else mountain
got it
no subject
........
02
It's true. The CDC is a 8rutal place to 8e.
03
I'm going to take a wild guess and say you were tricked into signing up.
04
Am I right?
[ She's not wrong. Vriska still thinks about the slow, wet cracking of her bones, the way Gliese touched her face and left her there, stranded miles away from camp.
Of course it hurts. But you learn to ignore it when pain is all you know. ]
no subject
no
i made a deal
[It isn't the first time she's been asked, but every time she has been, Ellie's found it's usually for the same reason.]
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
were you?
no subject
01
You willingly signed up for planet destruction? You didn't strike me as the type.
02
No. I knew exactly what I was agreeing to.
no subject
well i didnt know all the gory details at the time
but i knew i was making a deal
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
it was worth it
still is
no subject
Fair enough.
02
This guy I know signed up for some soda, or something.
03
What a dum8ass.
[ She does love you, Kotetsu. Really. ]
04
Anyway, I get what you mean. For all the shit they've thrown at us, given the choice again, I would still say yes.
no subject
hey vriska
what DID they trade you for?
no subject
Would YOU 8e willing to tell me YOUR reason?
no subject
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
someone back home was in trouble
i was probably going to have to watch him die before i got shot too
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
i had to do something
no subject
01
That is still a pretty no8le reason. My reason is not quite so glamorous.
02
I guess you could say I wanted a second chance.
no subject
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
a second chance for what?
no subject
Honestly? Myself. My planet is already gone. Most of my friends had a8andoned me. I didn't have anything else left. So I came here.
[ It aches to admit, and it's not even the whole of the truth. She knows it's a selfish choice and no matter how good a light she paints herself in it doesn't exactly sound great. Most people tend to assume she has a planet held over her head like everyone else. She hasn't corrected them on that assumption.
But as much as she doesn't want to scare Ellie off, it also doesn't feel right to lie to her the way she's been lying by omission to everyone else. ]
no subject
you dont regret it?
no subject
no subject
im scared of ending up alone
cracks knuckles
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I am going to tell you a story, Ellie.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
This is a story a8out a girl. A stupid, prideful, arrogant girl, who thought she had life all figured out.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
She controlled everything and manipul8ed everyone, and she won aaaaaaaall the games. All of them! She thought she was unstoppa8le.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Even if deep down she knew it wasn't true, she kept playing the charade anyway. She didn't have anything else. In fact, she didn't know any other way to 8e at all.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
The thing is, you can't actually control everything and everyone around you. You'll fail! And so did this girl. When she failed, she lost all of her friends, and she was left almost completely alone.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
For some reason, a few people still stayed 8y her side. 8ut over time, she drove those people away too with her selfishness and her stupid little games no one else wanted to play.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Then the girl tried to pull of her 8iggest gam8it of all. It did not work. She was 8etrayed and exiled to a place far away.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
In that place, she tried to 8uild a new life. She tried very hard to change! She 8uilt an army, and made a plan, and rallied her troops like a pro.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Once again, she had it all figured out!
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
And once again, she was just deceiving herself.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Her plan fell to pieces 8efore her, and the one person she thought she could trust most called her a monster and left her for dead.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
After that, the girl hit rock 8ottom. She was completely alone. She had one friend left, 8ut she didn't know if she deserved even that.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Then this guy showed up. He had a cowl that hid his face and he talked a8out this place called the CDC.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
Without even hesit8ing, the girl accepted his offer. She would have done anything for a new life at that point.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
You know what the funniest part is?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
For a girl who'd managed to drive away everyone she ever cared a8out not just once 8ut TWICE 8y 8eing o8noxious, selfish, and downright toxic........
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
She sure ended up making a lot of friends.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
For the first time in a very long time, she wasn't alone anymore.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
You know what I think about the girl's story?
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
I think it means that you don't have to end up alone.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
No matter how 8leak things seem, or how defeated you feel.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
As fairytale 8ullshit as this sounds, I have learned there's a little truth to it. Just have faith in the people who care a8out you.
FROM: serket.vriska@cdc.org
And you will 8e ok.
i don't even know what to say here take this award for monster of the year
Everyone she has ever cared about has either died, or left her.
If she thinks about it, isn't Ellie's decision to come here in exchange for saving Joel just as selfish? If she's offered a choice, would Ellie also want a second chance?
There's a stretch of silence where she thinks about telling Vriska everything. About a world where people get sick every day and stop being people. About growing up in a military school, in a quarantine zone and never seeing anything outside of the sky-high walls. About turning sixteen meaning the choice between becoming a soldier or becoming a Firefly. About what it'd been like to watch Riley lose her mind when Ellie should have too. About the hundreds of thousands of people who've been infected, who've died- and Ellie is the only one immune. That she thinks she might be able to be happy here, but that it won't stop her from being the promise of a vaccine and that in the end- she has to go back.
The time comes, and Ellie doesn't say any of it.]
FROM: ellie@cdc.org
i think youll be ok too vriska
i will treasure it always and put it with my other awards for being a terrible person