[week three - thursday]

[hypertoxic]

[ Vriska doesn't even know what time it is when she gets back to her hut, where Battler and Jinah wait. She doesn't even care. She's just so tired.

At least she's clean. She honestly looks like nothing is amiss at all, perhaps aside from the look on her face, when she gets inside. Battler will get a tired wave. ]

Thanks for agreeing to wait here. I was pretty positive Jinah wouldn't wake up, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

[ Heading for the trunk at the foot of her bed, Vriska will pull out her sundress and tug it on over the bathing suit she's wearing.

And then .... she'll settle somewhere, unusually quiet and unusually withdrawn. Weird that she's not chattering like usual, huh? ]

Comments

[itsalluseless]

[It shouldn't come as any kind of a surprise that Battler's still awake when she returns. Spending the whole night wide awake in the same hut as someone drugged into unconsciousness is really weird, but so is everything else about this whole mess.]

No problem.

[He's not sure what else to say - "how'd it go" seems like it'd be a little tactless.]

...Are you okay?

[hypertoxic]

[ Vriska is quiet for a long time. ]

No, [ she says, ] and that's the problem. I can't believe I am still letting this get to me. I have killed thousands and thousands of times! And here I am, feeling guilty as hell over killing one single human.

[ She'll just kind of curl up into a ball and hide her face in her knees, don't mind her. ]

Why am I still this pathetic?

[itsalluseless]

[...Well. Shit.

He'd been so angry at her for making him plan the murder - it had felt like such a brutal assault on his principles right after he'd thought they'd learned to understand each other a little better -

but the anger's forgotten now, and he suddenly feels like understands he just a little better.]

You're not pathetic.

[And he's coming over, hesitantly laying a hand on her hair. His instincts tell him to go in for a hug, but he's not quite sure if she'd be comfortable with it.]

I think... from what I understand, at least, this was pretty different.

[hypertoxic]

[ Battler wasn't the only person Vriska had been testing that day, when she'd made him plan a murder.

He puts a hand on her hair, and it surprises her. She lifts her head just enough to look at him, and then ... she does not knock his hand off. Just presses her cheek to her knees and lets him do it. ]

We talked. I liked Lelouch. I told him a little bit about what was going on. That we were going to save him, and everyone else.

[ ... ]

I had a friend tell me I was dangerous, before I got here. And he's right! I murdered Lelouch in cold blood. It was horrible. That was an extremely fucked up way to die. But I still feel awful about it, even though it was my choice to do it? I'm bad at being a troll, and I definitely can't be a human. Where is a total failure like me even supposed to fit in? Haha. God. This is stupid.

[itsalluseless]

Hey. Look at me.

[He waits for her to look up, but even if she doesn't he'll continue after a moment.]

You're not a failure, and you're not pathetic. As far as I'm concerned there's never anything wrong with feeling bad about killing someone. It means you care. And if that makes you bad at being a troll, troll society can't be all that great.

[battler that's racist]

[hypertoxic]

[ Well, for what it's worth, she does look up at him, though there is something of a delay in her doing so. She is trying not to look as miserable as she feels and mostly failing.

also that is totally racist but it's not wrong. ]

I don't know how to explain to all of you just how different troll culture is. Death and killing aren't frowned upon, they're encouraged! Especially for members of my class. I would be considered a disgrace for having thoughts like this. I'm not supposed to care. A true cerulean blood would take pride in the things I've done!

[ ... ]

But the hemospectrum is fucking stupid anyway and you're right, troll society is terrible. I'm not even sure why I care at this point, since my species is pretty much extinct.

[ ........ ]

I just don't know what it means to be a troll and yet try to adopt some kind of human moral system. It won't work, and I'll just become an even more fucked up mess.

[itsalluseless]

If you ask me, it doesn't matter all that much if you're a troll or a human or whatever. What matters is that you're you. And as much as you piss me off some of the time, for the most part you're really great.

[And he's going to kind of hug her. It's really awkward because of their positions and because she just killed someone tonight and everything is really weird, but. He's trying.]

I don't know what any of this stuff means either. I mean, I'm kind of a fucked up mess as well. But if you're okay with it, I'd like to help you try and figure it out.

[hypertoxic]

[ For whatever it's worth, when Battler tries to hug her, Vriska will lean into it, mindful of her horns. She won't hug him back, but there is, at least, some form of obvious reciprocation there. ]

Then we can be fucked up messes together! Great. That will definitely end well with everyone being fine! [ But there is a bit of a smile on her face as she says it. ] ... it's a deal, Battler.