Vʀɪsᴋᴀ Sᴇʀᴋᴇᴛ ♏ ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅsGʀɪᴘ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hypertoxic) wrote2017-08-23 08:29 pm
hypertoxic) wrote2017-08-23 08:29 pm
[week three - wednesday]
[ Why is life this way.
Everyone bitches and moans about how life is precious and they all need to work together to stay alive and then six people stumble out of the jungle mostly dead and three more wash up on the fucking beach for some god damn reason.
To say Vriska is mad is honestly an understatement of the issue.
Dealing with everyone missing significant pieces of their bodies has drained her quite a bit, especially as it meant she ended up having to skip sleeping today. So at least she's simmered down to a low boil by that evening.
Which is roughly when Lief will find himself joined at the campfire by a troll whose face seems to be stuck in a permanent expression of flat irritation. ]
You want to tell me what the fuck you were thinking, or should I just keep assuming you have a death wish you wanted fulfilled more quickly than having to wait for a Thursday night?
Everyone bitches and moans about how life is precious and they all need to work together to stay alive and then six people stumble out of the jungle mostly dead and three more wash up on the fucking beach for some god damn reason.
To say Vriska is mad is honestly an understatement of the issue.
Dealing with everyone missing significant pieces of their bodies has drained her quite a bit, especially as it meant she ended up having to skip sleeping today. So at least she's simmered down to a low boil by that evening.
Which is roughly when Lief will find himself joined at the campfire by a troll whose face seems to be stuck in a permanent expression of flat irritation. ]
You want to tell me what the fuck you were thinking, or should I just keep assuming you have a death wish you wanted fulfilled more quickly than having to wait for a Thursday night?
no subject
At this point, Lief is starting to run out of shits to give, so he just groans over having this talk yet again and flops onto the sand (... as carefully as he can so as to not bother his injured shoulder or burns).]
Think what you like.
no subject
[ She will crouch in front of him, as serious as he will have ever seen her. ]
Because I know you know better. Because you know you're important to the people on this island. Because your life isn't disposable, and as far as I'm concerned, you just demonstrated that you believe it is. So I want to hear, from your own mouth, why you fucking did this.
no subject
[Honestly? Lief really doesn't think much of his so-called importance in this place.]
Because I was tired of doing nothing.
no subject
no subject
1/2
no subject
[ both. the answer is both. ]
no subject
In any case, I doubt any answer I could give you would be satisfactory, so I do not know what you expect me to say.
no subject
Are you fucking kidding me right now, Lief? Now is when you choose to act like a petulant baby? Because you fucked up, and it's somehow my fault for giving you hell about it, which you completely deserve? I want you to fucking tell me you're not going to pull this kind of stunt again! There are people here who care about you, for some asinine reason, and you just threw all their concern back in their faces like it was so much useless garbage! Why do you think I'm upset right now, asshole? Use your brain! I know you have one, even if you've got your head so far up your spinal crevice right now that you've become a shithead singularity!
no subject
Regardless of what I want, it is not as if I could do this again. With my arm the way it is, I would only be a hindrance.
no subject
... are you like, trying to piss me off, or just being dense on purpose, or ... what? What's the strategy here. Because I'm not seeing it. Do you even have emotions? Have you ever felt anything? Do you even care?
no subject
So, everything I have done and been here does not matter now because of this? [...] Well, that is how it always is, I suppose.
[Doesn't matter how much of himself he sacrifices for his people, because one desire to be himself makes him selfish with no sense of duty. Doesn't matter that he's spent the last few weeks doing what he could for others, empathizing with their grief, spending sleepless nights as he stressed over what more could be done, and never asking for support in return, because the one time he wanted to act as if (for once) his decisions didn't impact others—it makes him emotionless and uncaring.
(He knows, most likely, that Vriska wants him to be sorry for the concern he's caused others, to regret the effect his selfishness has. He wants to snap at her—what it's like to be told so many times about how important his existence is, to have every move he makes judged by the entire country, to have become nearly unable to see his life as anything but a tool, and to never complain about a single aspect of it—but he refrains.)
It's never going to be enough, is it? He feels sick, though he pushes it down, lest Vriska yell at him now for being distracted.]
1/3
no subject
3/4 i lied
no subject
[ Vriska kind of storms off, comes back, storms off again, comes back again, and then just kind of throws herself on the ground somewhere nearby in a pile of seething annoyance and skinny girl limbs. ]
If that's how it always is, why aren't you changing it?
no subject
And tell me, how should I act to change it?
[Other than be perfect in everyone's eyes, apparently, and he's tried that for years with varying degrees of success.
Honestly, a part of him just wants to disappear—to not have to exist. But he knows that that can never be an option. Not as long as he is who he is. Idly, he thinks of his conversation with Magilou, and again, he's reminded: no matter how much he might desperately wish for those days back, the time when his life was his own has long since passed.]
... I wish I had a role, like with the items, or at least knew someone who did. Perhaps then it would be obvious what I could do in this place.
[In ways that don't involve throwing himself into danger.]
no subject
[ A sigh through her nose. The look she gives him when he says that is sharp. ]
Careful what you wish for, Lief. If you're really, truly unlucky, the Chiefs might just overhear you and switch things up because I'm sure they'd find that hilarious. Besides, "a role" could just as easily mean a killing role, and what the hell would you do then? Let it go. There are better ways to take charge of your destiny.
no subject
no subject
Sometimes I genuinely can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not. But if that was sarcasm just now, it was pretty good!
[ sighs again and settles down. ]
I mean, I'd make the point that you can change it by not doing dangerous shit, but I think you got that point already. What roles even exist besides the item role and the killing role? We still haven't figured that part out, even if it's pretty logical to conclude there are other roles. So, like, what, you'd help out the item role in some vague fashion, or just execute the killing role on the spot? Pretty lofty dreams.
no subject
no subject
and then smirks at him. ]
Aren't you full of surprises today! Trying to pull a fast one. What were you expecting, anyway? [ falsetto ] "Oh, Lief, I have a role, please help me!"
[ mimes dramatically from her spot on the ground before dissolving into cackles ]
no subject
No, for I cannot imagine you saying "please" or asking for my help.
no subject
You're damn right!
[ well. however much he means it, it isn't the worst thing to see him smile. ]
no subject
You are rather proud of that.
no subject
I'm used to being self-sufficient. When I was younger I definitely considered a point of pride that I never asked anybody for help with anything!
[ ...
tilts her head. ]
But you're wrong about one thing. I might not say please, but I wouldn't be opposed to asking you for help, Lief. I just want you to understand it goes both ways.
no subject
no subject
no subject
I assume you are not likewise volunteering to risk your safety.
no subject
no subject