reidentify: (♔ verbal arithmetic)
"lief me alone" ([personal profile] reidentify) wrote in [personal profile] hypertoxic 2017-08-25 12:48 pm (UTC)

[He stares at her for a moment, before looking away as he lets out a laugh, sad and choked.]

So, everything I have done and been here does not matter now because of this? [...] Well, that is how it always is, I suppose.

[Doesn't matter how much of himself he sacrifices for his people, because one desire to be himself makes him selfish with no sense of duty. Doesn't matter that he's spent the last few weeks doing what he could for others, empathizing with their grief, spending sleepless nights as he stressed over what more could be done, and never asking for support in return, because the one time he wanted to act as if (for once) his decisions didn't impact others—it makes him emotionless and uncaring.

(He knows, most likely, that Vriska wants him to be sorry for the concern he's caused others, to regret the effect his selfishness has. He wants to snap at her—what it's like to be told so many times about how important his existence is, to have every move he makes judged by the entire country, to have become nearly unable to see his life as anything but a tool, and to never complain about a single aspect of it—but he refrains.)

It's never going to be enough, is it? He feels sick, though he pushes it down, lest Vriska yell at him now for being distracted.]

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