Vʀɪsᴋᴀ Sᴇʀᴋᴇᴛ ♏ ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅsGʀɪᴘ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hypertoxic) wrote2017-09-05 04:50 pm
hypertoxic) wrote2017-09-05 04:50 pm
[week five - tuesday]
[ Vriska is in her cute little sundress today because her god tier duds are hanging up somewhere to dry after a thorough cleaning to maybe mostly get all that blood and dirt off them that had been accumulating. It's sunset, settling into evening as Vriska heads back towards the hut. It doesn't surprise her to see Jinah outside, but she'll stop anyway, the look on her face inscrutable.
And then she'll come close, tilt her head, and say: ]
Hey. Let's go for a walk?
And then she'll come close, tilt her head, and say: ]
Hey. Let's go for a walk?
no subject
She looks up to answer only after she's finally done writing. ]
Ah, it's been awhile. Maybe? Since we've spent any time together I mean.
[ She stands up, lets Vriska lead. Her voice is a little far away. ]
I don't know how to keep track of the days anymore.
no subject
Maybe? Man, even I don't know at this point. I totally get what you mean. Everything just kind of blends together after a while. Especially when you've been around as long as I have! Ages and ages and ages. This is just a blink when compared to the vast and incomprehensible scope of eternity!
[ what is she talking about.
ANYWAY! ]
So, uh, Jinah, listen. There are some things I should tell you, about what's going to happen in the next few days. I probably should have told you a bunch of the stuff way sooner, but I guess I wanted to protect you? It's too late for anything like that now, though.
1/2
It makes total sense, Vriska is so poetic? ]
2/2
What is it with everyone this week.. it's like everyone forgot everything that was worth mentioning and suddenly thought to themselves "Oh I guess I should say things that actually matter!"
[ She sort of laughs, and then she looks up. ]
Is everything okay?
no subject
[ serious, and ... vaguely apologetic? uh oh. ]
Might as well not beat around the bush. Lay it all out there! Here we go. [ ... starts ticking items off on her fingers?? ] First of all, I'm a Siren. Zuko was right. Surprise! Second of all, I killed Lelouch and Shinji. I don't even know why I'm telling you that. For the sake of completeness, I guess? Anyway. Third of all, I've been drugging you to sleep on certain nights pretty much since we got here. Just once I used it to cover a murder on a Thursday night, but the rest of the time it was honestly just to help you sleep, because you don't, usually? So. [ s h r u g. ]
And fourth of all, there is a pretty much 100% chance that I will be chosen for execution at the trial this weekend, if I even live that long, which means you'll die too. But I have been plotting and planning basically since this game started, and if I've done my job correctly, this trial will be the last one. We won't have to wait long before we all get to go home. So there's your consolation prize for your future inevitable murder. Ta dah.
no subject
There are stages to all of it-- Vriska has told her a lot. ]
You lied to me.
[ Omission is a lie; a familiar one, just as familiar as the words "I did it to protect you" and "it was for your own good", accompanied by the same literal pill she never asked to take.
She's crying before she can stop herself. ]
You're the same, everything is the same. Everyone always does this!
[ In between all that she's angry somewhere deep down, but it's only really the sad that comes out first. ]
I would have done anything to help, I would have if you'd just told me. But you never trusted me.
no subject
[ Vriska sighs out and folds her arms tightly over her chest, glancing off to one side. ]
Look, I didn't want to make you an accomplice to murder, alright? You didn't need to live with that kind of blood on your hands. I have done some really, seriously horrible things to the people of this island, all in the name of winning. Like, I doubt it's any consolation to you, but there is no one on this god forsaken rock I haven't lied to. Even the people who think they're my closest allies! I have been playing them all like a fleet of fiddles. It has been astonishingly easy.
[ ... ducks her head lower, looking truly ashamed now. ]
But I didn't want to play you. Not like that. You deserved better. So I just kept you in the dark instead! And maybe ... I guess it was selfish on my part? I mean, it definitely was, but. I mean the thing where I kind of didn't want you to think of me as a monster. And they're all going to, when the truth comes out. Once my crimes are finally out in the open, I will be amazed if most people don't finally admit to themselves that I am completely despicable. Maybe I just wanted to keep your esteem to myself a little longer? Either way, I know it was really shitty of me. But I'm also not really sorry? Out of all the awful, bad things I've done, I wasn't going to make "turning Jinah into a murderer" one of them.
no subject
[ It comes out in between ugly crying and snot and gritted teeth. She has her fists all balled up, a full blown tantrum in the works. ]
You're not sorry because if you say sorry you have to admit you were wrong. If you admit you're wrong then you've lost.
[ Maybe she knows this so well because it's a game she's played time and time again herself. It's why she's lead so many men to such bad ends. At the end of the day she will never admit she deserved any of this when there's so many cosmic forces that say she did.
Jinah understands Vriska, and it just serves to make her angrier. ]
I would have lied for you, I would have hurt people for you. Because I believed in you-- and that would have been my choice. I thought you were going to give me a choice, I thought you were going to be different. It's not fair, it's not..
no subject
That's not your choice!
But slowly a new expression overtakes Vriska's face, something dark and ugly. The shape of her mouth twitches into a snarl and she looks away, folding her arms even tighter if possible. ]
Yeah. You know what? I'm not fucking sorry! I did what I had to, Jinah! Not that I expect you to understand that. I'm so sorry I went out of my fucking way to keep you safe! Think whatever you want. You're all going to! Big bad Vriska all over again, ruining everyone's fucking lives! God, like I give a shit what you think.
[ She's blue in the face, staring at the ground like she could somehow kill it, too. ]
So you can just keep crying and whining like a loser, while I'm going to go out there and keep being a winner! I never needed you, anyway.
no subject
No!
[ It comes out a little petulant, but it's more stern than Vriska has ever seen her. ]
Look at me.
[ she's not really crying anymore but her voice is a little uneven. ]
You promised you were going to trust me. You lied.
no subject
... are you saying you wanted to be dragged into all my heinous shit? Like, you wanted to be an accomplice to a Siren?
no subject
[ she lets go finally, her hands sort of hanging in the air like she doesn't know what to do with them. ]
You weren't the worst, but you were the same as everyone else I've ever known.
[ She's quiet for a moment. ]
I defended you, I gave you a chance to tell me the truth every week.